Christopher Hitchens Has Died
December 16, 2011 | Filed Under People I Admire | Leave a Comment
Christopher Hitchens has been, for quite a while, the most reasonable, and likeable popular atheist. He has been the voice of reason in a movement that has often been modeled after religious fanaticism and nasty tribalisms.
I have admired the man for quite some time. And now he is dead from a terrible disease.
veritas omnia vincit
A Simple Exercise in Matter of Factness
December 14, 2011 | Filed Under Relationships | Leave a Comment
There was a certain transition I went through in my life that was pivotal. I don’t know exactly how or why it happened, but it was very important and I’m glad to have gone through it.
For much of my life I felt compelled to prove myself to other people. To all people. In other words, I felt the burden to make all people like me.
But as I’ve gotten older, things have changed. I now, in a certain way, expect people to prove themselves to me. And I don’t care one bit if people don’t like me. I am who I am, and quite frankly, I really like who I’ve become.
So I expect people to prove themselves to me (if they want to be part of my life). Not in a judgmental or condescending kind of way. Just very matter of factly. I don’t like being around all types of people. There are only certain types of people that I enjoy being with. And since I don’t have the time or energy to entertain every person in my vicinity, I might as well pick and choose and be selective.
Here’s an exercise for the guys out there:
Take the girl you have your eyes on. Now make a long list of all the stuff you don’t like about her. (i.e. take her off the pedestal your mind has put her on)
*************
To be successful with girls you have to burn through the fog of their mystique, become selective, recognize their shortcomings, be able to tease them and recognize them for what they really are: normal human beings with normal flaws and normal weaknesses.
The Myth of Pure Love and Transparency
December 14, 2011 | Filed Under Relationships | Leave a Comment
I don’t know if it’s a desire to experience God in another human being, or what. But there is this deep seated desire to experience pure, unadulterated, fully transparent love with another human being.
I recommend against it.
My dad gave me some very wise advice that I failed to take heed of for a long time: some things are not meant to be shared.
Some basic rules:
1. Drop your perfect expectations regarding love when it involves another human being. They won’t live up to it.
2. Understand that human beings aren’t built to operate under conditions of transparency. Maintaining some mystery/enigma does a whole lot more for maintaining attraction/connection.
3. Don’t make your love conditional on the other person fitting your ideals. Be willing to let them be themselves. And be willing to NOT like them and to walk away.
At the end of the day: let people be themselves, and either love them as they are, or be prepared to know that you don’t like them as they are and that you don’t want them to be part of your life any longer.
Daydreaming
December 10, 2011 | Filed Under Music | Leave a Comment
great new song i discovered today.
I wanted you to just go for it
December 10, 2011 | Filed Under Relationships | Leave a Comment
It’s that tightrope you’ve got to walk as a guy.
100% of Animal Sex is Rape – Louis C.K.
December 9, 2011 | Filed Under Fun, Laughter, Relationships | Leave a Comment
This is something that human males in civilized societies have to man up to. I’m not casting judgment… and there’s no reason to feel shame. I’m just observing: each human male has inherited this desire to pretty much screw every female in his proximity who’s moderately fit for having babies. Just like 100% of the male mammals out there.
It’s one of the only good reasons to get married for men outside of a desire to have a stable family. But now things are complicated because not even marriage guarantees you an outlet for your maleness (nor a stable family). So hey, if you do get married, make sure it’s NOT to a woman who’s got a thing or twelve against frequent sex.
The 2nd half of this video is priceless (but EXPLICIT):
Environment & Attraction
December 9, 2011 | Filed Under Relationships | Leave a Comment
Here’s a hilarious video from Mike Posner and Lil’ Wayne.
Besides the hilarity, there is a serious take home point: environment matters to attraction. The clothes you wear. Your body language. The state of your apartment. The tone of your voice. The quality of the restaurant you take her to.
Pay attention to these things. They are outward displays of value. And that’s all she has to go on.
6 Ongoing Government FAILS
December 8, 2011 | Filed Under Politics | Leave a Comment
When I grow up, I don’t need another parent.
1. The Food Pyramid
All jacked up and backwards. Advocates a nutritionally empty diet full of grains.
2. Seatbelt laws for adults
Seriously mommy?
3. Can’t buy milk from my neighbor?
Put me in jail, please.
4. Slight of hand taxation
Depleting the value of our money in order to subsidize the corporate rape of weak nation states.
5. War on natural drugs (marijuana, etc)
There’s no justification for the government telling people they can’t grow and harvest plants that occur in nature. And hypocritical when they’re advocating a diet full of poison (grains).
6. Billion dollar profits and zero taxes?
I paid more in taxes this year than General Electric.
The Most Important TED Talk You’ll Ever Watch
December 6, 2011 | Filed Under Health | Leave a Comment
Share this with the people you love.
What you value matters
December 6, 2011 | Filed Under Health | Leave a Comment
There’s a bunch of ancient wisdom that says as much, but which is sort of cliche to our ears. So I won’t quote it;-)
But the fact is: besides biological impulses (hunger, etc.) there are two primary sources of motivation. And they are both related to *caring*
1. Where do you locate your own value?
2. What do you value externally, socially, materially?
If you believe that your entire self-worth is wrapped up in finding the perfect girl, then you will spend enormous amounts of mental energy and time looking for that girl. If you believe that your value lies in the things you own… the houses, the cars, etc. then you will exert tremendous amounts of energy chasing these things. If you believe that a great deal of your self-worth is wrapped up in playing by the script and becoming socially respectable (the education, the wife, the kids, the job), your entire life will be directed at achieving these things. If your primary value in life is sleeping with as many women as possible, you will exert a great deal of energy on this project. If you want to become a world-renowned biochemist, plan to spend an enormous number of tedious hours in the laboratory or writing papers. If your value is in presenting to the world the idea that you have the perfect, non-divorced family with well-dressed, smiley kids who’ve never played in mud or gotten sick and with eternally happy parents who never fight … then you’ll exert a whole lot of time and effort shaping and upholding this illusion for the world to see.
Let me be clear. I’m not passing judgement on what you choose to value in life. I’m simply pointing out that our life takes the shape of the things we care about.
I will offer some recommendations though because my mind has considered all kinds of “value points” – life is a whole lot more rewarding when you care about the sort of things that human beings are *meant* to care about. Now you might suggest that I have no idea what human beings are *meant* to care about or at least that there is no *right* answer to the value question. But I would suggest that you are wrong.
Human beings share a common nature.
The food we eat is critical. So care about the food you eat (maybe even learn to grow some). Our local community, including our families (not just nuclear), are critical to our well-being. So care about being part of your local community. Keeping low-levels of stress is critical to well-being. So take yourself less seriously. And play. Play. Play. Find ways to play (and laugh) every day. Being productive is critical to happiness. So spend some time learning and perfecting a skill. Make sure that you find your work rewarding. Or else take the risk of walking away and doing something that makes you feel valuable (don’t be lazy though… easy jobs aren’t always the most rewarding). Being at peace with reality, is critical. So be thankful for your existence, and to the Source of your existence.
As a general rule, I think the most important value to have is this: be the best human being that you can be. Live life like a sparrow… according to its nature and in harmony with it’s intended environment. Once you have that as your foundation, you can set off on a lifelong journey that drives closer and closer towards the true root of health and happiness: namely, living life with confident expressiveness and appreciating it as a gift, not to be hoarded, wasted or endured.
