The Myth of Pure Love and Transparency

December 14, 2011 | Filed Under Relationships 

I don’t know if it’s a desire to experience God in another human being, or what. But there is this deep seated desire to experience pure, unadulterated, fully transparent love with another human being.

I recommend against it.

My dad gave me some very wise advice that I failed to take heed of for a long time: some things are not meant to be shared.

Some basic rules:

1. Drop your perfect expectations regarding love when it involves another human being. They won’t live up to it.
2. Understand that human beings aren’t built to operate under conditions of transparency. Maintaining some mystery/enigma does a whole lot more for maintaining attraction/connection.
3. Don’t make your love conditional on the other person fitting your ideals. Be willing to let them be themselves. And be willing to NOT like them and to walk away.

At the end of the day: let people be themselves, and either love them as they are, or be prepared to know that you don’t like them as they are and that you don’t want them to be part of your life any longer.

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