The Absurdity of Being Special

December 1, 2009 | Filed Under Small Talk 

Conventional wisdom has it that we’ve got to teach our children that they are special (for the sake of self esteem or something like that). That a person’s value resides in his or her uniqueness. I think conventional wisdom is just plain wrong on this one.

If the number one message we send to our kids is that they are valuable because they are special, aren’t they going to be inclined to maintain this illusion through various perversions of their personalities? Aren’t they likely to hide their normal humanity? Aren’t they going to try to artificially preserve an aura of mystique? Become secretive? Aren’t they going to make the perpetually propagated, stupid mistake of thinking that they’ll be immune to the problems of humanity (i.e. if I find “the one” then my marriage is going to be immune, because then special meets special, and well, you know that’s gotta be special too).

Value, is properly located in an awareness of one’s humanity. Once you know that, you can live your life with the aim of being as fully human as possible.

How human are you? Sure, I know that in today’s world there is no consensus on the human Form (as Plato would have it). But really, we all know the qualities of great human beings when we see them. They are strong, compassionate, persistent, forgiving, in control of their emotions, adventurous, committed to truth and honesty, etc. The problem, I guess, is that we don’t see these kind of people enough. But we’ve heard rumors that they exist… and that excites something deep inside our souls…

You are valuable because you are a human being. You have dignity. Now get on with the business of being the best human being you can be. Forsake selfishness and personal indulgence. Pursue the deep, profound happiness that comes from community and family.

Being. Human. That’s what our role is in this life. That’s what gives us value.

Our sense of value gets perverted when we lose sight of our humanity and live as though we are some mystical being, or some superhuman freak of nature, or God himself. When we think our value is wrapped up in our ability to save the world.

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