Self-individuate
January 23, 2012 | Filed Under Relationships
One of the great things about a relationship is the opportunity to share life together with another person that you value. But many people mistakenly allow their relationships to become too wound-up. Too co-dependent. Too stifling. Too possessive.
Obviously, when you are in a relationship, you want to enjoy all the pleasures that a relationship affords that you can’t have as a single guy (i.e a history of adventures, shared goals, nightly massages and hopefully lots of wild sex;). So don’t live *as if* you are single. It’s a bad sign if the two of you have completely separate existences.
There’s a middle road. You can share life together without sharing all of life together.
Basic rule: you don’t want to be joined at the hip. You MUST allow each other the freedom to have separate interests and separate time and separate friends, in addition to the life you share together.
Here are some tips for self-individuation (for guys it mostly comes down to not letting your partner become your mom):
1. Learn how to cook
2. Shop for yourself.
3. Take pride in how you look.
4. Keep your space clean
5. Have a guys night out
6. Play recreational sports
7. Work out, keep your body fit
8. Maintain your ability to interact/flirt with other women (50% of the guys who get married find themselves needing that skill down the road)
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